The internet often rewards certainty and polished answers. But the women in this community remind me that wisdom is something different. The older I get, the less interested I am in expertise alone. I'm interested in practice. I’m interested in the messiness of everyday life, and how we show up in the moments that become our years.

I want to know how women are navigating business building alongside a culture that didn’t want women in leadership positions for the last two hundred years. I’m hungry to learn from women who let the house be messy, who shift the mental load into visible spaces; who stand up for what they believe in; who give a damn about their own rest and well-being. I want to know how women are navigating business-building alongside caregiving. How they make difficult decisions. How they rethink success. How they manage when they feel like they’re failing at everything. How they stand up for what they believe in. How they create lives that are aligned with their values—not just impressive from the outside.

The women in this community teach me every day. So I decided to start sharing some of their stories. This new series, Wisdom In Practice, is written in collaboration with , a member of Wise Women’s Council. My goal is to shine a light on the remarkable women in our community and the lessons they’re learning as they move through life and leadership. Through conversations and interviews, we’ll explore their work, the challenges they’re navigating, the lessons they’re learning, and the ideas they keep returning to again and again. Read more about the full series here.

Below is our first essay featuring decision engineer and coach Michelle Florendo. She’s been a part of The Wise Women’s Council since the very beginning, and her work has helped thousands of founders and leaders figure out how to make better decisions.

These are not stories about having it all figured out. They are stories about paying attention. These are stories about letting go of who we were, so that we can leap towards who we are becoming. These are stories about changing how we move through life.

I hope you’ll enjoy meeting the women of Wise Women’s Council as much as I’ve enjoyed learning from them.

— Sarah K Peck

Want to learn more about my group coaching program and practice? Check out The Wise Women’s Council and consider applying to join.

The Data Hidden Inside Your Feelings

What Happens When You Stop Optimizing Everything

Essay below written by

When I talked to Stanford-trained Decision Engineer Michelle Florendo, she was mid-move: boxes, logistics, the constant deciding of what stays and what goes. She mentioned it casually, like this kind of complexity was familiar terrain.

Then she said: “My brain loves optimization puzzles.”

“But the real challenge,” she added, “is communicating to all the other parties involved the things that are in my brain.”

If you’ve ever tried to explain the invisible spreadsheet in your head to a partner, a team, or a child who insists the blue cup is a catastrophe—you get it.

Michelle’s work sits at the intersection of structure and humanity. As a decision engineer and executive coach, she helps professionals and small business owners make big, complex decisions with less stress and more clarity. Her background is rigorous—engineering degree, MBA—but her core insight is surprisingly simple.

When I asked what one skill she’d teach everyone, she didn’t say productivity or confidence or morning routines.

She said: the ability to understand what your emotions are telling you—the data inside your feelings.

We’re taught to treat emotions as distractions from “real” decision-making. Michelle argues the opposite. Especially in complex situations, not all useful information is measurable. Emotions are signals—pointing to needs, values, and constraints we haven’t fully named.

Here’s the framework she uses again and again:

1. Notice and name the emotion.

Not just “I’m fine” or “I’m just stressed.”

Actually name it: frustrated, anxious, resentful, disappointed.

2. Ask what’s underneath.

Is it a real need—rest, clarity, support, recognition?

An outdated one—approval, perfection, control?

Or something you haven’t given yourself permission to want?

This is where decision-making opens up.

As Michelle put it, “If you don’t like the options in front of you, your job is to creatively generate more.” Emotions help you see where the existing options are failing—and where new ones might exist.

She sees this everywhere: in four-year-olds learning to manage big feelings, and in executives navigating burnout, recognition, and power. Naming what’s happening turns fog into information.

Michelle didn’t set out to be an entrepreneur. She’s risk-averse by nature. But motherhood made it clear the more traditional paths didn’t work—and instead of forcing herself into a bad choice, she built a better one.

She’s also clear about what’s missing from professional conversations: honest talk about constraints. Time. Energy. Caregiving. The reality that you can’t optimize everything at once.

Decision-making isn’t a game of being perfect. Perfectionism is a trap.

Decision making involves backing up from binary thinking and asking yourself to think more broadly about possibilities. Before jumping into a “pro-con” list, Michelle says it’s best to first figure out what your objectives are from the gate. She reminds people not to get too narrowed into a flipping back and forth over one single option.

Instead, ask yourself to consider a broader range of ideas. What are ALL the possibilities or courses of action that you could choose from? Are there more ways of going about this? What else could be possible?

Your emotions are essential data, because they’re telling you to look more deeply at what’s in front of you. Chances are, if you’re feeling resistance, if you’re feeling irritation or overwhelm, you could be stuck in a pro-con trap.

Maybe, maybe there’s another option that you haven’t thought of yet.

BONUS TIP: Invite a friend who is really good at divergent thinking to help you out with this part. Ask them what you haven’t yet considered.

Part of the work of decision making is the ability to think creatively and explore options beyond what you first see.

Michelle’s work is a relief, not because it makes decisions easy, but because it makes them honest. It makes them fuller. She helps people slow down long enough to hear what actually matters, instead of defaulting to what’s expected, efficient, or externally approved. The result isn’t a perfect choice–it’s something better. It’s a choice that feels true to you, grounded in your values, your dreams, your constraints, and your real life.

In a culture that rewards powering through and second-guessing yourself, that kind of clarity isn’t just useful. It changes how you move through your life.

MEET MICHELLE FLORENDO

Michelle Florendo is a Stanford-trained Decision Engineer, executive coach, speaker, and founder of Powered by Decisions. She helps leaders, founders, and high-achieving professionals make decisions with less stress and more clarity by combining decision science, coaching, and practical frameworks for navigating uncertainty. Over the past decade, she has coached hundreds of leaders, taught decision-making at Stanford, and helped redesign the decision-making curriculum for Stanford’s renowned Designing Your Life program.

Learn more about Michelle:

• Website: Powered by Decisions
• About Michelle: Michelle Florendo Bio
• LinkedIn: Michelle Florendo on LinkedIn
• Podcast: Ask a Decision Engineer

I’m interested in the messiness of everyday life, and how we show up in the moments that become our years. I want to know how women are navigating building their careers and their businesses alongside a culture that didn’t want women in leadership positions for the last two hundred years. I’m hungry to learn from women who let the house be messy, who shift the mental load into visible spaces, who refuse to dance for the patriarchy’s chains, who stand up for what they believe in, who give a damn about their own rest and well-being, who care deeply about their communities, and who aren’t hyper-focused on their individual success at the cost and expense of others.

This is one of the reasons that I first started The Wise Women’s Council. Because I wanted—longed—to talk to more women and to hear their stories, to learn what people are doing in real time, mistakes and all. I wanted to hear more than the superficial magazine cover or the glossy tips about how to have it all or do it all. No more retrospectives, thank you. I need to know how you’re dealing with it in the middle of all this mess. So I started asking people to join me in a masterminds and communities, and those conversations still haven’t stopped.

One of the greatest gifts of The Wise Women’s Council is the women themselves. Every month, I have the privilege of learning alongside founders, executives, consultants, creatives, coaches, and leaders — each of whom are navigating real questions about work, life, leadership, family, ambition, identity, and change.

But I want to do a better job of sharing the work and the wisdom of the Wise Women’s Council here, with all of you. We have such strict confidentiality rules in our community that I can sometimes forget to shine a light on the incredible women and the work that we do together. So I reached out and asked several members if they’d be open to me sharing a bit of their stories. This series, part of our new Collected Wisdom newsletter, is written in collaboration with , a member of The Wise Women’s Council.

Introducing: Wisdom In Practice

A collection of stories, conversations, and lessons from the teachers, alumni, and members of The Wise Women’s Council.

Wisdom in Practice is a series of stories, conversations, and reflections from the Wise Women's Council community. Some essays will feature a single person’s story. Others will gather perspectives from many voices around a shared question. Some will explore ideas from teachers, authors, and experts whose work has shaped our thinking.

Together, they’re an attempt to showcase the deeper conversations we have inside our community. They address a series of questions I continue to return to:

• What does wisdom actually look like when it meets real life?

• How do we choose to live in a way that is most aligned for us?

• How can we live better?

Over the coming weeks and months, I’ll be sharing stories from The Wise Women’s Council community to show you more about the ways that women are living, thinking, and leading differently. I’m excited to tell you about what they’ve learned, the lessons they have to share, and the work that they’re doing.

For the past ten years, I’ve run an intimate women’s group coaching program focused on creating peer-to-peer conversations that don’t often have a landing place to happen elsewhere. It’s a place for women to bring up hard topics, to be real, to pull down the masks and the makeup, to let ourselves be more vulnerable and raw, and to be in council with each other around the deeper questions of our lives.

Want to learn more about my group coaching program and practice? Check out The Wise Women’s Council and consider applying to join.

The internet often rewards certainty and polished answers. But I want more depth than a shiny blog post can give. I want the kind of wisdom that is lived, that is earned, and that is an active practice. And it’s the women in this community that continue to remind me that wisdom is something different. They show me how they wrestle with the questions that their lives are asking of them. They are honest about what it takes to really build, to really lead — and to do the inner work of leadership that’s required for real change.

My hope is that you’ll discover new ideas—ideas that help you learn more about your own inner wisdom.

My hope is that you’ll meet remarkable people—people you can follow and learn from and connect with.

My goal is to shine a spotlight on the remarkable women who make up our community. Through conversations and interviews, we’ll explore their work, the challenges they’re navigating, the lessons they’re learning, and the ideas they keep returning to again and again.

These are not stories about having it all figured out. They are stories about paying attention. These are stories about letting go of who we were, so that we can leap towards who we are becoming. These are stories about changing how we move through life.

I hope you’ll enjoy meeting the women of Wise Women’s Council as much as I’ve enjoyed learning from them.

— Sarah K Peck

🟡 ​How To Be Human: SKP Newsletter​ — Join 10,781 readers!
🟠 ​The Startup Parent Podcast​ — Business stories, real talk.
🟣 ​The Wise Women’s Council​ — A leadership incubator for business women deep in the mess and joy of midlife, big work, and career callings.

You can also find me on LinkedIn, Substack Notes, and Threads.

PS: If you’re thinking about applying to join us in the ​Wise Women’s Council​ this year, we’d love to see you apply if you’re looking for a community of driven, business-focused women navigating ALL the mess and joy life brings us.

The question I hear all the time from parents is this: “How do I do it all? How do I juggle it? How do I balance it?” This question implies that you're trying to squeeze everything you can out of all the stuff in front of you.

But the harder question is, what is uniquely you? And what don't you give a crap about? When you can define your unique weirdness in work and in life and in parenting, then you can cut out a whole lot more of the stuff you just don’t care about. Caring about everything and trying to be everywhere at once won’t work. Doing it all is not a strategy. Hacks won’t make your life better. Focusing clearly on the few things that really matter to you—that’s the key.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• What I’ve learned from having 30+ jobs in my career so far.

• How motherhood and work still don’t fit together, and the absurd realities of working parents.

• Why “hustle culture” is actually a very old idea that doesn’t fit modern life.

• What most companies get wrong about “strategy” and “productivity”

• The way that you can apply strategic thinking to your life as a parent.

• How to use guiding principles to make your parenting life easier.

Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Got a question you want me to take a look at, or just want to know my opinion on something? Go to startupparent.com/question and submit a question so I can answer it on an upcoming episode. If you’ve got a situation in your life or business that you’d like some attention and feedback on, send me a detailed note using this form and tell me about your current situation. I pick challenges each month to unpack, discuss, and lend my brain to. I sift through the questions and answer as many as I can—and if I can’t answer them, I’ll share them with people I trust to get wise feedback and council.

“Ask Sarah” is a private monthly podcast for you to ask questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. This podcast is one of our perks for paid subscribers. When you upgrade your subscription to go paid, you’ll get access to the previous conversations on parenting sleep, how discipline and willpower change as a parent, how I keep up with habit building when exhausted, a detailed case study on content marketing as a solo entrepreneur, and all future episodes. Plus, you’ll get a private RSS feed, access to private viewings of some of my paid talks, exclusive chat forums and our book club conversations.

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ASK SARAH: IS IT POSSIBLE TO JUGGLE MOTHERHOOD & A FULL-TIME CAREER?

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For an hour and a half, we dig into how we build them, sell them, run them, and what’s worked. We talk specifically about the numbers: how many people we have in the programs, how the pricing breaks down for each tier, and what the value add is.

This episode is a very detailed, behind-the-scenes look at both of our online programs and how we've designed our mastermind communities.

Every month I record a private episode of the podcast that’s exclusively for paid subscribers. “Ask Sarah” is a podcast for you to ask me questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. To get access to all the monthly episodes, bonus episodes, and other perks, you’ll need to be a paid subscriber.

Got a question you want me to take a look at, or just want to know my opinion on something? Become a paid subscriber to get access to the podcast and ask me any questions you’d like.

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Plus, you’ll get a private RSS feed, access to private viewings of some of my paid talks, exclusive chat forums and our book club conversations. This is only just getting started, so if you’re thinking about going paid, make sure you lock it in during our January Sale which ends in nine days.

Designing online group programs: an inside look at The Wise Women’s Council’s design, structure, and methods

The specific question I got for this Ask Sarah podcast episode was regarding how I’ve designed and built the Wise Women’s Council. This is the sixth cohort running, and I’ve been running masterminds, retreats, and group programs for over ten years now. Running the Wise Women’s Council generates over $200k in annual revenue, and has become an incredible community and alumni network. A few years ago, I had someone ask me all about the program design and structure. Here’s the question I got that prompted me to record this episode:

“How did you design The Wise Women’s Council and why did you design it the way you did? How did you decide on the model for your membership? Have you been in other programs like this structured in the same way?”

In this episode of Ask Sarah—our bonus podcast for folks who upgrade to become paid subscribers—I’ll go over how I planned out the group’s structure, created goals, figured out what works for me (and what I hope works for you) and how to get better at creating other mastermind groups over time. Creating a group program is not easy. In this episode, I’ll share:

• What it takes to make a group program fit your community specifically

• The biggest mistakes people make when designing a program and why it makes your audience feel overwhelmed and drop out (This is not the goal!)

• What most people don’t remember to consider in both the design of the program as well as the sales page—and how to make your program stand out.

• Plus, you’ll get access to the key takeaways summary, quote highlights, and a written transcript of the conversation.

ASK SARAH EPISODE #04: BEHIND THE SCENES — DESIGNING OUTSTANDING ONLINE GROUP PROGRAMS

This episode was recorded in 2019. While I no longer use Teachable as the platform for my community today, the design thinking concepts, structure, and design principles are very relevant in today’s online-focused world.

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December doesn’t have four weeks in it, it has two (if we’re lucky). School is out for two weeks, the kids are most likely snotty, and we’re trying to wade through airports and holiday parties to get to the dessert.

At the same time, employees and bosses (even internally, if it’s us!) can spring a massive amount of work on people by trying to finish projects, do year-end reports, finalize budgeting or taxes, reply to everyone, and… send holiday cards?

Surprise Bonus Episode!

In this episode, I want to chat about stress responses and feelings. Whenever we go through periods of stress—whether it’s acute or prolonged—our body will have distinct physiological responses, and our emotional response will likely be heightened. Stress hormones create a physiological cascade in the body, and our emotions and feelings can dance around in response to heightened stress.

For me, I have to work backwards from identifying both my behaviors and my emotions (am I running around trying to do ten things at once? Do I have a massive amount of extra chaos energy? Do I feel lethargic and sad? Am I craving sugar and crackers?). Once I start to name these specific feelings and behaviors, I can start to understand what’s going on beneath it.

For example, when I have a surge of extra energy, I’ll sometimes begin massively cleaning the house. This means my anxiety has increased, and having a tidy home can soothe me. (It’s totally fine to want to clean to feel better!) What I do alongside this, however, is ask, “What might I be feeling extra anxiety about?” This question lets me get closer to the root.

Naming and then exploring what greater context is creating these emotional reactions. I can start to hone in on my stress level and see what’s going on, and find ways to address it (and cope with it).

As we approach the holidays, I thought I’d drop this episode, because I know have more people around can add to our stress levels, and ALL the feelings can come out with (and at) our various family members.

Every month I record a private episode of the podcast that’s exclusively for paid subscribers. “Ask Sarah” is a podcast for you to ask me questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. To get access to all the monthly episodes, bonus episodes, and other perks, you’ll need to be a paid subscriber.

Got a question you want me to take a look at, or just want to know my opinion on something? Become a paid subscriber to get access to the podcast and ask me any questions you’d like.

IN THIS EPISODE:

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Marketing is so broad and so challenging, and in today’s world, you can throw the kitchen sink at trying to get customers, and still feel like nothing is working.

In this episode of Ask Sarah—our bonus podcast for folks who upgrade to become paid subscribers—we’re going to dig deep into a topic I love, and that is content marketing.

• Today’s question comes from Meghan, a small business owner, who is creating a strategic content marketing plan and is looking for help to attract more high-quality leads to her service offerings.

• She helps business owners plan for maternity leave and has a deep dive planner and a coaching offering, but is overwhelmed by the amount of work and time content marketing will take, and isn't sure which avenue to start with first (LinkedIn? Pinterest boards? Blogging? Instagram? Stories?). 

• Our analysis will look at what she should focus on when using content marketing as a lead generation tool for your business, and I’ll break down exactly how I think about starting with content marketing, and why we need to go back up the chain of marketing questions to get a clear answer.

“Ask Sarah” is a private monthly podcast for you to ask questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. This podcast is available fotor paid subscribers. Upgrade your subscription to get access to all episodes, plus more bonus content exclusively for paid subscribers.

ASK SARAH EPISODE #03

A deep dive case study into Meghan's business as she figures out what how to tackle content marketing.

If you’d like to listen to how I simplified this content marketing challenge, and where I’d start (and why content marketing is so overwhelming), take a listen to this episode.

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“I have a limited amount of discipline and willpower and I’m spending it all on my family and business. How do I keep some for myself in order to make healthier choices and feel better physically? (No time to exercise because if I’m not working I should be with the kids, and by the time I’m with the kids I’m exhausted).”

ASK SARAH EPISODE #02

How on earth do you sustain healthy habits after you become a parent? For those of you that want to continue to do things that you used to do—whether that’s exercise, eating in a way that fulfills you, spending time recovering, or getting enough sleep—this episode is all about how much our lives can be upended when we have children.

This is not an episode about willpower or discipline. That science is faulty at best, and if you’re a parent, your willpower bucket is used up by the fifth diaper change of the morning or the two hundred cheerios you’re pulling out of the carpet from your school kid’s lackadaisical style.

Every month I record a private episode of the podcast that’s exclusively for paid subscribers. “Ask Sarah” is a podcast for you to ask me questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. To get access to all the monthly episodes, plus our community threads and advice columns, you’ll need to be a paid subscriber.

Got a question you want me to take a look at, or just want to know my opinion on something? Become a paid subscriber to get access to the podcast and ask me any questions you’d like.

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“Ask Sarah” is a private monthly podcast for you to ask questions about business, life, parenting, or anything you’re curious about. This podcast is available in full for paid subscribers and for paid members of my leadership program. Upgrade your subscription to get access to all episodes of Ask Sarah, edited transcripts of every episode, as well more bonus content exclusively for paid subscribers.

If you’d like to listen to how I approached sleep with two littles, and why I think that the fight around sleep training is problematic, take a listen to this episode.

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