In about a week, the schools will close for the winter holiday, my kids will be home, and we’ll begin the holiday travels that happen at the end of December.
For too many years, one of the last things on my list was taking care of myself. If I even made the list. To be honest, it never crossed my mind to put myself on this list as a consideration — I just packed my stuff, through some stuff together, and crammed it all into the last minute.
I would run around the house, making sure the kids’ bags were packed; that each had a stuffy and a book and a blanket; that we had an abundance of their favorite snacks. I’d tidy the house, cleaning everything up, making sure the fridge was clean (no spoiled food!), and that mice wouldn’t take up home in our house while we were gone.
I’d go so far as to make sure the house was—what, exactly?—hotel ready?
WHY?
It just never occurred to me that I could do it any differently. Whether that’s from watching a million TV moms scramble during the holidays, or watching my own mother do the same, I never heard anyone say that it was okay to:
Slow down.
Take care of myself in exquisite fashion.
Plan ahead for my own comfort and joy (comfort and joy!)
This year, the layers of lessons we teach in The Wise Women’s Council are continuing to unfurl in my life, in the most beautiful ways. These lessons are subtle but profound. And I can see it in the way that I’ve been preparing for the holidays differently this year. I can see how I’ve let something beautiful, tender, and sweet into my life. While taking care of the house, the family, the children, the presents, the travel, the puppy, the car… I’m also giving myself room in here, too. To do beautiful things for me.
I can see how I’ve let something beautiful, tender, and sweet into my life. The ability to pause and actually take care of myself.
Here’s how I’m preparing for the holidays
The next two weeks will be a disruption for me — it will be filled with noise, chaos, shuffled schedules, changed sleeping arrangements, lots of travel, different lighting, brand-new food — all of it a recipe for over-stimulation and overwhelm. As a person who likes a bit of agency, and as someone exquisitely sensitive to sensory input and interpersonal dynamics — if I do a bit of preparation, I’ll be able to enjoy so much more of it.
Some of the ways that I can prepare (and take care)—of me:
Finding delightful novels to read. I went to Libby (the library app) and downloaded a selection of novels for me to pick from during the next two weeks. And! I started reading one of them, so I’m already absorbed in it.
Packing the coziest clothes with the softest fabrics and the stretchiest waistbands. Because I want to enjoy all the delicious food and feel great.
Bringing MY favorite snacks so that I can have delicious things when I want. (Favorite travel snacks: salted pistachios, pumpkin seeds, or macademia nuts; dark chocolate; something chewy and sweet like red vines). Sometimes I order them ahead of time to be shipped to location!
Researching TV shows and series that I can watch while I’m there, including comedy that’s family-friendly, and downloading it to my devices.
Coordinating with my siblings in advance to get a sense of schedule (and coordinate all the naps!) — I can go into detail on how we do this, by the way!
Looking up gyms in the area(s) we’re traveling to, calling in advance, and figuring out what a one-week or one-month membership looks like.
Planning walking routes by downloading AllTrails for the area(s) and bookmarking hiking trails and local walks.
Writing a small index card of reminders with questions I’d love to ask people while I’m there (I don’t always think of things on-the-spot, so this helps me); another notecard with boundary scripts (for when I’m too tired to think, and I need support with my words), and a short list of people that I want to be in touch with and text to check-in on (and who often check in on me).
This is not to say that other people don’t have beautiful intentions—often, they do. But I don’t want to be my own afterthought at Christmas. I don’t want to get to the end of the day, resentful that I’ve carried the day for everyone else, too hungry / tired / dysfunctional to be able to do anything other than scroll memes and eat a million cookies (both of which I will be doing, of course).
But I also want to enjoy these moments. Savor them. Soak them in.
So I’ve taken up some time preparing for me, just like I do for my kids— well, okay that’s not exactly true, they will be getting 10x as more of my energy — BUT: each thing I look something up for the kids, like museums and activities and shows, I remind myself to make sure I look something up that’s for me.
Because I deserve to be taken care of.
And so do you.
Over to you: what do you do to enjoy the holidays? How do you take care of yourself? I want to hear all of the ways, no matter how big or how small!
— Sarah Peck
CEO. Writer. Founder.
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I needed this and now I’m going to create my own list to prepare for visiting family this week. Also, the note cards approach is genius.