“Hey experts, can you stop telling us to get more sleep? WE ARE AWARE. I’d love more sleep."

Yes I know I should hydrate. But also, how!?

Hello, again 👋🏻 It’s Margo, Sarah’s self-appointed favorite* friend, and April takeover administrator.

*This is unverified, but it is now on the internet, so it’s true.

Today, I have to tell you about this Instagram reel I can’t find the link to. It’s a mom in a car and she’s like, “Hey experts, can you stop telling us to get more sleep? WE ARE AWARE. I’d love more sleep. I have three children. Unless you’re creating a viable solution for that, then I need you to stop telling me how great sleep is and how I should get more of it. Thank you goodbye.”

I FELT SEEN.

Yeah, I know I should hydrate. I should journal, jog, green juice, and do everything Dr. Becky tells me - but you know what? The tiny imperialist I live with just spilled milk ALL OVER the kitchen after climbing onto the counter (WHY!! HOW?!) to get a ceramic mug (ALSO WHY) to make herself hot chocolate after we already brushed her teeth. And this was after a day of being screamed at for two freaking hours because I brought the wrong snack (which, dear reader, I did not. She loves goldfish. She wanted the rainbow ones. I brought the regular ones. FOR SHAME). It was already past bedtime and my only mistake (if you can call it that) was going to the bathroom. 

The cost of using the restroom while parenting. 

We are not confused about what we need. 

We do not have the support, space, or energy to sufficiently meet our needs, such as socializing, hydrating, sleeping, and taking some time in the Cozy Corner.

Do you know about the Cozy Corner? Our preschool taught me this one. They put kids in a “Cozy Corner” to calm down, so now I put myself in the Cozy Corner when I need to calm down which means I live there now.

From the Cozy Corner, I launched a company called Brainstorm Road with the patron saint of compassion, Kristin Hatcher. She and I grew that company globally to hundreds of members (we’re enrolling people now if you want to join but let me finish this post first) and we are not confused about what it needs to keep growing. It’s not a hack or a tactic. It’s time and energy that we both do not have because real life has been relentless.

We are not confused about what it needs to keep growing. It’s not a hack or a tactic. It’s time and energy that we both do not have because real life has been relentless.

I had to fully ghost on our team for a few weeks in February while I dealt with a legal issue I wouldn’t wish on my worst energy. Before that, Kristin had to rush to the hospital without warning to oversee care for people she loves. And yes we have other team members. And no this is not a “you need to outsource better” nor a “we hustled harder and made it through” story.

Absolutely, NO.

The opposite.

We shut stuff down.

I’ll never forget when I finally mustered up the courage to tell Kristin that my (now ex) husband had left abruptly and suddenly in 2022 and I was alone with my daughter in a giant house in a city I had few friends in and not sure what was going on. Do you know what she said?

“You’re done.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re out for the next week,” she continued. “If I see you online, you’re done. If I see you reply to an email, text, or DM you are fired. You will take care of yourself. You will handle this. You will drink water and you will sleep and you will cry. You will not edit a single piece of sales content. BYE.”

Kristin knew no amount of hustle and grind would make me “more productive.” Intellectually, I understood it, but emotionally I felt like a petulant child being told she couldn’t have candy and she wanted some RIGHT NOW.

I’ve learned over the years that Kristin is always right and it is VERY annoying.

I needed to connect back to myself and my life. I needed to stabilize my foundation so I had the bandwidth to do my job. This has become how we do business now. When a team member gets hit with real life, we kick them offline. 

This has become how we do business now. When a team member gets hit with real life, we kick them offline. 

It means growth is slower. But it also means growth is sustainable. Kristin and I are very clear about what we want this company to be. Slow and steady (for us) wins the race.

This is us. Winning the race.

What saved my soul in 2022 (and to this day) was community and art. Which sounds so cheesy I feel silly admitting it, but it’s the truth.

People kept texting me even though I stopped replying. They sent food and gifts. People flew in to stay with us. My dad and sister moved in while I tied up legal ends. Friends got on the phone with me every single night while I tried to process what was unprocessable.

Sarah K Peck flew in from New York to help me pack 20 years of my life into boxes. She cooked me food and made me drink water. She played with my daughter when I thought the sadness and grief might kill me.

WHERE IS THE RX FOR COMMUNITY

And I never stopped writing. Not once.

Writing is what grounds me when the world is swirling. AND YET, it feels selfish when you’re staring down the barrel of an endless and incomplete to-do list to pause and permit yourself to do something good for you. *INSERT ME SCOFFING AT DR TELLING ME TO SLEEP MORE* Thank you, Captain Obvious.

It doesn’t feel justifiable to do what’s good for us. Or it didn’t to me. 

Our heart is generally the first thing to die when we’re deprived of community and creativity: We murder our soul and the parts of us that generate light.

Tending to our dreams brings us back to life.

For me, it’s writing. For others, it’s watercolor, singing, sketching, quilting, or podcasting.

Please ask Sarah to share some of her Friend Only dancing reels. They will induce gut-laughter and she is going to murder me for telling you about them but like I said, I'm in charge for April MUAHAHA

Dreams don’t have to be practical. They don’t have to be important or impactful. They are personal. They have to be yours. None of us can fully explore our ideas, get into the weeds with our creativity, or turn pro to the degree we want to be able to.

Life is always life-ing. We are time-scarce. It’s not an excuse, it’s the reality of being a working parent.

It’s true and it sucks. And telling someone in the thick of it, which, is all of us, to “try harder” is like shoving salt into a wound while you keep picking off the scab.

Hustling harder isn’t the answer, AND slowing down isn’t always possible.

There are days when the choice to invest in our creative pursuits and dreams is zero-sum. Just like the (well-meaning) doctors telling us to get more sleep - THANKS WE KNOW.

The solution isn’t advice. It’s surrounding yourself with people who grant you permission and the possibility to do what you know you need to do.

To that end, SARAH KATHLEEN PECK GO BACK TO BED. If you're not resting and watching Below Deck, eating chips, and scrolling Instagram right now WE WILL HAVE WORDS.

okloveyoubye.

Change happens in the connection, community, and compassion for the chaos that isn’t going anywhere.

Holding onto the vision for your future and your dream, while living in reality IS HARD. So hard, I had to use all caps. 

Still, I do not want to live in a world where our Dream Projects do not exist. Especially, if the reason is you’re busy literally cleaning up spilled milk.

(see aforementioned spilled milk story)

If you don’t have any SKPs or Kristin’s in your daily life encouraging you to dream - go get some.

So far, Kristin has not fired me.

Don’t worry, there is still time.

- Margo

Here is Sarah raving about our community and me with another friend. We have fun :)

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Brainstorm Road is a community of everyday people with Dream Projects and real lives, holding each other accountable to doing something for 10 minutes a day. Learn more here.