People ask me all the time: “Can I be an entrepreneur and a parent?” I’ve spent almost a decade working with founders who are also parents, and over time, I’ve developed a checklist for what makes it easier—and what makes it harder.
Here’s what I tell people when they ask me what to expect if they’re trying to build a business AND a family at the same time:
Yes, you can do this.
Yes, it’s possible. But it will depend a LOT on a number of factors, because every situation has a different “difficulty level” and that will make all the difference.
But every situation has a different DIFFICULTY LEVEL
How difficult the journey is, and whether or not it feels absolutely impossible, will vary a lot from person to person. Below, I’ve outlined the ten questions I’d ask to discern how hard it’s going to be.
For each one you say “NO” to, the difficulty factor goes up.
This is not a judgment. It’s a map.
WHAT LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY ARE YOU PLAYING AT?
1 — Do you have a partner / who is supportive? Do they take a good balance of the household work and parenting labor?
2 — Are your job(s) flexible and supportive? Sometimes there are “greedy jobs“ in the picture. Greedy jobs take an outsized amount of the attention, energy, or resources in a partnership.
3 — Do you have extended family that’s supportive? Grandparents, local relatives, etc that you can lean for any type of support?
4 — Do you have strong community? Ideally with people who are also doing some of this adventure around the same time as you, so fellow parents, caregivers, and/or entrepreneurs.
5 — Are YOU stable and secure — mentally, emotionally, physically? Your body and mind are part of the operating system of your business, and they’re also the backbone of your parenting journey. If you have a chronic illness, postpartum depression, mental health challenges, trauma, or other challenges, this could be harder.
6 — Are you financially supported? If you have a well-paying job, savings from previous work, access to resources, a low rent or mortgage, or any other resources that support you, you’ll be in better shape, and can afford to pay for household and childcare support.
7 — Do you have access to paid parental leave? Ideally, you have access to 6 to 12 months of quality paid leave to support you and your family. America is woefully bad at this (human rights level bad), and so this makes everything so much harder.
8 — Is your baby an easy baby? A lot depends on the kind of baby or child you have. Some babies are ‘easy’ babies that sleep well. The rest of them? Not so much. And if you have a more challenging child, a kid that won’t sleep, or a child with extra needs, you’ll have even more demands placed on you.
9 — Are YOU able to sleep? This could be the most important thing. If you’re not sleeping, everything will be a thousand times harder.
10 — Do you have access to quality, consistent childcare? Is it reliable, affordable, trusted? Half of Americans live in “childcare deserts” where there is not enough childcare for the people who want it.
I’m curious what else you would add to this checklist, by the way. Something I didn’t add was whether or not you have more care-taking responsibilities, like taking care of aging parents or other family members. What else would you add? Tell me in the comments.
Next, add up all the times you said “no” to the questions above. That’s your difficulty rating for your adventure ahead.
This checklist is here to acknowledge that each journey in parenting and entrepreneurship will be different. You might be playing at a Level 10 difficulty and need far more support than you currently have. You might be building a business with only a fraction of the hours you need.
Or, you might be building a business with a huge amount of savings on hand, local grandparents, and your kids in daycare 45-50 hours a week. This is also a reminder not to compare yourself to someone else — they are living a completely different life. Each story is different.
What level of difficulty are you playing at?
(Also, If your difficulty level is at max, then please apply for one of our 🎁 Founding Member Scholarships 🎁 to be a part of the Founders With Kids community!)
Your story is yours.
— Sarah Peck
CEO & Founder
Startup Parent
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Yes to aging parents who need care but also- are you planning to be a solo founder or co-founder? If co-founder then apply the partnership question to this person. Having a business partner who can flex workload when needed, challenge you positively and give grace when needed is paramount.
Only got 3 to 4 yeses but addd on supporting elderly unwell parents physically and financially while living on an oily rag bootstrapping your own business with part time child care and no village lol were playing at difficulty level 10 😆